


Pariah

by Venomis



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV), Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Betrayal, Depression, Drug Use, F/M, Fake Character Death, Family, Loss, Second Chances, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:43:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venomis/pseuds/Venomis
Summary: When Esai fucks up, his father fakes his death and sends him over the border to Mexico, not wishing to see him again. The only persons knowing that he's still alive, are his father, his so-called killer and his girlfriend's brother. Robbed of everything he ever was, he has no choice but to start over and bury the memories of a life he loved so much.Meanwhile Alesia moves on after her boyfriend's death and returns to Santo Pedro where she grew up.  While she tries to find her place in a world she hates but can't break loose from, she falls in love with a Son, not knowing that her presumed dead boyfriend is closer than ever.





	1. An Outcast

_ "Are you fucking serious, Gilly? What are you, a girl, with those friendship bracelets?" Angel's laughter echoed through the empty street. He leaned against the car in which they'd put her stuff, a cigarette dangling down his mouth.  _

_ Gilly shrugged his shoulders, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "I just want her to know that she's not alone, even though it might feel like that sometimes. For eternity – that's what we always said about our friendship. But now – now she's moving to the northern part of the state and before you know it, we haven't spoken in months..." _

_ Hopeful eyes looked up to her, hoping that she understood its importance.  _

_ Alesia wished she could smile, but she failed. She wished it did something to her, that it would warm her heart – but it didn't. Her numbness was simply too overwhelming.  _

_ In one day she had lost everything. Her parents, her beauty, her house, her life. And soon, she could add her two best friends to that list.  _

_ Gilly ignored Angel's commentary and Alesia's resignation. He held out his hand. Alesia held up hers. The bracelet he dropped in it consisted of six black braided threads, of which the middle two were held together by an iron infinity sign.  _

_ It looked cool, Alesia had to give him that.  _

_ "Thank you," she said softly.  _

_ Angel pushed himself away from the car, curious now and looked over Gilly's shoulder. "That thing looks like something I should recognize." _

_ "The infinity symbol," Gilly said, his voice a little offended because his friend needed an explanation. "You know. Infinite friendship or something." He shrugged his shoulders. "Mom said it was nice." _

_ His last addition made Angel chuckle. "It was cool until you mentioned your mom." _

_ "Don't mess with him, Angel," Alesia sighed.  _

_ Their eyes met. She knew his lightness was nothing but an act; his way to deal with what had happened. In silence, he took the bracelet from Gilly, where after the three shoved it around their wrists. They raised their hands, stared at it for a while. Both boys wrapped an arm around her shoulders and around each other's, as did she.  _

_ Her eyes were stinging as if the tears were ready to come, but after the past weeks not a single tear was left. She bent her head and rested it against her two best friends.  _

_ "For eternity," she whispered.  _

_ Two words that had completely lost their meaning, in recent days. Nevertheless, it gave her a bit of comfort.  _

_ "For eternity," the two boys agreed.  _

* * *

Alesia was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her thumb followed the infinity symbol of the bracelet. She had moved to Oakland a month ago to live with her granny. The woman had barely spoken to her; she was tormented by her own grief. Losing a child was something no parent should go through, no matter their age. 

Alesia cared more for her grandmother than the other way around. She ran errands, cooked, made sure the woman ate. She didn't mind – it kept her busy. If not, she was afraid she would just stare like the old woman herself, with eyes seeing nothing. 

Today however she had to leave the house; it was her first day at her new school. She didn't look forward to it, to go to a place where everyone had known each other for years. The Holidays had ended two months ago, she would be the only new face. A nightmare for every teenager – and she was one who looked like a freak. 

She got up from the bed and walked over to the mirror. Her thumb stroked the fiery scar running across her eye. The artificial eye was new; she'd gotten it a few days ago and she still had a hard time getting used to it. Sometimes the wound would still sting. With a sigh, she stared at her mutilated face. She had considered trying to cover her face, but there was no point in it. She couldn't hide who she was. 

A victim of a gruesome crime. 

She had no choice, she had to bite the bullet. People would stare at her for the rest of her life. Deep inside however there was this little hope, the hope they wouldn't stare at her and pretend that she looked like everyone else. 

* * *

They didn't. 

Whispers followed her through the hallways of her new school. Girls stared, boys snickered. She ignored them, told herself she was here to graduate. Crouching down in front of her locker she put the books away she didn't need for the next classes; holding the covers close to her face because her intact eye wasn't able to correct the missing abilities of the other. 

"Hey, the freak circus is one street further ahead," a mocking voice sounded. 

From the corner of her eye she saw a shadow. Alesia pretended she hadn't heard the comment and continued with what she had been doing until only the stuff she needed was in her bag. Then she stood up. She wanted to turn away from the boy, but he grabbed her arm and turned her back roughly. 

"Who the hell do you think you are? You think the rules don’t apply to you just because you're new and ugly?"

Alesia clenched her fist. Growing up with guys like Angel had taught her how to throw a good punch. However, she knew nobody here; the boys who always had her back were no longer around. She was all alone and there wasn't much harm she could cause this walking closet. 

The chuckling in the background told her he wasn't alone. 

"Leave me alone," she said, tearing her arm away from him. He let go of her immediately, so she lost her balance and fell against the lockers. Laughter arose around her. Shame made her face burn. 

The bully stepped closer again, staring down at her. "What are you willing to do to be left alone? I don't do favors like that for nothing."

Alesia was still silent and tried to pull herself away from him. 

"It's just your eye that ain't working, huh? Nothing wrong with your mouth," the boy growled. "And you should know that –"

Suddenly he was thrown against the lockers. The laughter died away. While he pushed himself away from the wall, another boy grabbed him by the collar and punched him right in the face. "You ever talk to her again and I give you two of those eyes, you got that?" a threatening voice sounded. 

As tough as the boy might have felt; right now he couldn't wait to leave. A little dazed Alesia looked up to her savior. Just like she he was Hispanic, although his eyes were remarkably blue. 

"You okay?" he asked. First he looked at her intact eye, then his glance moved briefly to the scar. 

"Yeah," she answered quietly. 

"Just stay close to me," he said. "Then no one's gonna hurt ya."

Alesia didn't ask why. Something about his demeanor reminded her of Angel, who could be very harsh towards others but had a heart of gold. She immediately felt safe around him. 

"What's your name?" he asked as they headed toward what Alesia thought was the cafeteria. 

"Alesia." She peeked at his handsome face. "And yours?"

"Esai. Esai Alvarez."

He looked at her as if that name sound mean something to her, but it didn't. 

She nodded. "Thank you. You always patrol the hallways to save outcasts?"

"Only the pretty, ones" he winked. 

She felt her cheeks flush. She had been convinced nobody would ever call her pretty again. 


	2. Falling Apart

From the corner of his eye Esai looked at her. Despite Jordan's attempt to intimidate her and the horrific scar across her eye, she didn't flinch and kept her head up. When his father told him this morning that a new girl would arrive at school and that it was his task to make her feel at home, his response had been indignant. He really wasn't in the mood to waste his time with some dumb chick who was too stupid to stand up for herself. The moment his father told him that her eye had been cut out, he had changed his mind immediately. 

Yeah, it was kinda sinister that a mutilation intrigued him. Yet, there wasn't much he could do about it. He was way too curious to the story behind the scar and the reason she moved to Oakland. He however knew better than asking about it. 

"Are you a senior?" he asked. 

Alesia nodded. 

"Cool. Me too. Why don't you show me your timetable?"

She stood still, stepped away from the flow of people in the middle of the hallway and zipped open her backpack. Esai's eyes followed the movements of her elegant fingers and for a moment he imagined how they opened some other zipper, stroking across something else than her books. 

She opened her agenda, took out a piece of paper and handed it to him. Her eyes were gray as the sea and kept his glance. Red spots crept up his neck. It was impossible, but somehow he had the feeling she knew very well which route his thoughts had taken. Since he didn't want to fuck up his assignment by having heated thoughts, he quickly turned his attention to the note. 

"We have a few classes together," he said. "You start with biology, I see. You want me to take you there?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure." He held out the piece of paper. Their fingers touched when she took it and a paralyzing feeling shot through his arm. Quickly, he shoved his hand in his pocket. What the hell was that? 

His eyes shot to the side. Subconsciously he expected a blush on her cheeks, but there wasn't, as if he had been the only one feeling that spark. A little confused he started to move again. 

"Come on then," he said a bit gruffer than he'd meant to. 

"You don't have to show me around if you don't want to," she answered. "I'm grateful that you stepped in when that guy was bothering me, and a little bit of company on my first day of school isn't exactly an unnecessary luxury, but if you believe you've been compassionate enough for one day and rather spend your time with your friends instead of hanging out with the local freak, I get it. No hard feelings okay?"

On a whim he grabbed her shoulder and turned her around so she was leaning with her back against the lockers. He stared into her left eye, the only one which could stare back. 

He swallowed. _Yeah, what now? What the hell did you plan to do anyway?_

Esai had no clue, and a little awkwardly his fingers loosened around her shoulder. 

"You're not a freak," he said eventually. Before he knew it he raised his hand. Lightly, his thumb brushed the scar below her eye. "Even with that scar you're fucking beautiful."

It was no lie, she really was a beautiful girl. Her skin was smooth, her lips full, her eye enchanting, her nose cute. And if he was honest, that scar made her look bad ass.

"Who the hell are you? The kind of guy gettin' off on scars?"

The snark was so unexpected he stepped away from her. Despite her cute face she had a sharp tongue. He shouldn't be surprised; why should the club care about a fragile little thing? 

"I'll be fine. Have nice day." She pushed him away, swung her backpack over her shoulder and rushed away. 

Esai gritted his teeth. How the hell could he fuck up something so simple? The only thing he should have done, was cosying up to that girl. Now however, he had done the opposite by antagonizing her. 

* * *

During the classes that followed it was hard to keep his attention to subject. How was he supposed to tell his father that she didn't want him around? The pit in his stomach wasn't only caused by his father's disappointment; her not wanting to have anything to do with him kinda hurt. Quieter than usual he worked on his assignments, ignoring her during the classes they had together. She however sat two seats away from him and he could feel her presence the whole time. 

With a sigh, he blew his disappointment away. 

"What's goin' on with you man?" Dezi nudged him halfway the fourth class. 

Esai didn't know how to explain himself to his best friend. All he did, was shrugging his shoulders. "Had a short night."

"Hot chick huh?" Dezi smirked. 

Nope – he had been all alone. He however gave his friend a meaningful smirk because he offered him an easy way out. Dezi believed him and in silence Esai continued his school work.

* * *

Alesia had caught the question of Esai's friend. The fact that he made no mocking comment about her, made her doubt, even when his friend conformed her suspicion that he was a player, which supported the thought that he was interested in her because he'd never fucked a mutilated girl. But right now, Esai didn't look like someone with a hurt ego because he was missing out on a conquest, it felt like his hurt was deeper. She had to admit she didn't care that much about his flirting; she was used to Angel and well, he had quite a reputation when it came to girls. 

Since she had nothing to lose, she stood up when class was over and called his name before he left the room. He turned around, his eyes widening as he saw her. She went to walk next to him. With a nod, he told his friend to leave them alone. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "For how I reacted. It's just..." Her shoulders slumped down. "I've been through a very rough time. Or been through... Actually I'm still in the middle of it." She gave him a sad smile. "I honestly could use a friend."

The smile he gave her made a little spark ignite inside her; a tiny bit of warmth after what happened to her family. 

"I will be a good friend," he promised with a smirk. "And whether I have a scar fetish or not – I will behave."

He swung an arm around her shoulder; his wrist loosely dangling down her shoulder so she could easily shake it off. She however didn't; after everything she had lost, a little bit of kindness was what she needed, for the loneliness was tearing her apart.

"You wanna hang out after school?" he asked. "Or do you got plans?"

"No, got no plans." Despite the fact that she loved her granny, she rather spend some hours with someone who wasn't staring forward numbly. 

"Awesome!"

* * *

After the last class they met outside. This morning she had taken the bus, but Esai walked towards the parking lot. 

"You ever been on a bike?" he asked with a promising smirk. 

"Yeah, one of my best friends has one." She chuckled as his shoulders slumped down. "You're disappointed now?"

"Kinda," he admitted shamelessly, handing her a helmet. "Girls use to hold me tighter during their first time."

Her lips curled up as she strapped her helmet. What a charmer. 

"You're talking about sex or riding a bike now?" she asked, used to Angel's dirty talk. 

Esai chuckled. "I like your mindset."

He rolled back his bike and mounted it. She sat down behind him and glanced at a group of girls, who were looking envious at her. This almost felt like some crappy chicklit in which the new girl ran off with the hunk of the school on her first day.

She scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms tighter around him than necessary. 

"This tight enough for you?" she asked. 

He looked over his shoulder. He was a hot guy anyhow, but his smirk was the reason she wanted to press herself closer to his hard body. She placed her feet on the right spots, then Esai left the schoolyard. 

Even though her grasp around him had been playful, she kept holding him close. Pressing her cheek against his back, she closed her eyes. Memories flushed through her mind; memories of the times she had been on Angel's bike. Never before she had been separated from him and Gilly for such a long time and their absence made her many wounds fester. A tear rolled down her cheek, quickly she wiped it off. 

She had left Santo Padre. Her life had taken a new turn, it was time to create new memories, with new people, in new places. 

That letting go of your past wasn't as easy as it sounded, was proven when Esai stopped the bike in front of a building. A row of bikes was shining in the sunlight. On the large sliding door, she recognized the symbol of the Mayans MC. Her hands clenched into fists around Esai's shirt. He laid his hand across her fist and looked over his shoulder.   
  
"What's going on?"

"Is this the reason you came to me today?" she asked, cringing as her voice crack. She pulled her arms away from him and slid off his bike. "Because someone told you to do so? What are you, their prospect?"

She read the confusion in his eyes. "What does it matter? I..."

"What does it matter?!" she yelled. "What did they tell you about me? That I am some tragic girl that could never survive on her own? Who needs some tough guy to keep her from falling apart?"

She spun around and rushed away. 

"Alesia!" he called out. 

She didn't look over her shoulder; instead she raised her fist and flipped off.

She needed no one, and especially not some stupid motorclub. 

They had done her enough damage. 


	3. One Question

Esai was so overwhelmed it took him a few seconds before he left the kickstand down and ran after her. Where the hell was this coming from? He didn't get it. He however wasn't about to let her go. If necessary, he would drag her into the clubhouse, no matter how hard she screamed. She should fix this shit with his dad; he just wanted to show him he had done what was expected from him. 

He grabbed her wrist when he'd caught up with her, making her stop. "Come on girl... what the hell is going on?"

"I want nothing to do with your stupid club!" she yelled. 

"But why? I thought..."  
  
"I don't care what you think! Just leave me alone!"

Her eyes were shooting daggers. Man, what a little spitfire. He hadn't expected it from her. He had to keep himself from crashing his lips down on hers, only to calm her down. 

He however knew it wouldn't work; she would probably slap him in the face. 

"I'm not a prospect okay?" he started in a reasonable tone. "My dad's the club president and he asked me to keep an eye on the new girl. That's what we Mayans do. We take care of each other. At least _someone_ believes you're one of us."

"Over my dead body! I never want to be associated with a schizophrenic biker gang again!"

Esai suppressed a sigh. Where the hell was that hatred coming from? Had it something to do with that scar? With the dead of her family? His grasp weakened, although he didn't let go of her.

"I wanna be your friend," he said quietly. His own voice made him feel sick. He hated to kiss ass; he however had enough experience with girls to give it a shot. "We have a click, right? Until you found out about my dad, we were fine."

"It's not about your damn dad," she said in a threatening voice. "It's about the fact that you're sent to me like some fucking babysitter."

Annoyance started to crawl underneath his skin like a swarm of ants. "Since when does looking after someone turn you into a babysitter? You're damn paranoid man! I mean you no harm. Until five minutes ago I liked hanging out with you."

Grumpy, she turned her face away. 

"Well, what are you gonna do without me?" he huffed. "Sit in your room, do nothing? These people believe you're important. Why do you hate them so much?"

She snorted. "You think I'll tell you? I know how these guys are. If I say one bad word your little club cuts out my tongue."

He suppressed a sigh. What else could he say? Should he let her go? For some reason he failed to pull his hand away from hers. 

"Then let's go somewhere else," he suggested. "Okay? It's not like they asked me to take you to the clubhouse. This is just the place where I use to hang out after school."

Slowly, she turned her face back towards him and studied his face. Only her left iris was moving when she looked from one eye to the other. 

"Okay," she said eventually, hesitating. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Where do _you _wanna go?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Some place where people ain't staring at me,' she muttered. 

"Okay, I know a place." He showed her an optimistic smile, then he led her back to his bike. 

* * *

Alesia wasn't completely convinced this was a wise decision. She didn't even know what had persuaded her. His mesmerizing eyes, his charming smile? 

Her distrust grew when she watched Esai move away a piece of wood, where after he stepped through the narrow opening. He held out his hand. 

"What the hell are we _doin' _here?" she asked, looking up across the high stone wall. 

"This place is abandoned. That's what you wanted, right?"

"I didn't want you to take me to the perfect place to murder me! Nobody's ever gonna find me here."

He chuckled. "Nobody kills in the house of God. Come on, it's pretty cool in here."

Sighing, she followed him through the opening which once must have been some backdoor. It was pitch black in the room. A nervous feeling bubbled up inside her. 

_I'm insane. _

Nevertheless, the nervousness was something else than the emptiness she'd felt for weeks. There was something adventurous about this, and for some reason she trusted this guy she'd just gotten to know. 

With his phone he created a small light, although it wasn't very sufficient. There were loose tiles and other trash everywhere. 

"I will break my neck," she grunted. "You realize you took a half-blind with you, huh?"

Fingers stroked hers. "Let me hold your hand."

"You're something else, Alvarez," she huffed, shaking her head. "This is a strange way to hit on girls."

He chuckled. "Some girls require a special treatment. Taking you to the clubhouse didn't go down well."

She lifted the corner of her mouth, then their fingers laced. Carefully he led her through the room until they reached a door. Once Esai opened it, light streamed through stained glass, in which a lot of pieces were missing. Even though she was able to walk here without Esai's help, she didn't feel the urge to let go of his hand. She looked around. 

As impressive as the building had looked from the outside; the inside wasn't very spectacular. The benches were still there, although a large part was broken away. Everything else had been removed. It smelled dusty; birds were flying from window to window. 

"Well you do have an exceptional sense of romance."

"Why? People married in this building."

She chuckled softly. He had an answer for everything. Hand in hand they walked through the abandoned building, their footsteps echoing around them. 

Along a path he led her to the other side of the building, where they went through another door. He took her to the stairs, following it up to the church tower. Despite the abandoned state everything looked solid. In the room where the church bells could be rang was a large window. The wind blew through it; the glass was shattered. A table stood next to it, Esai climbed on top of it. 

"So this is your idea of a beautiful view?" she asked as they were looking down on a cemetery. 

"You just can't stop complaining, huh?"

"It's a little rude when you just buried your parents."

Esai froze and snapped his head to the side. "Fuck – I'm sorry. I hadn't thought about that."

The shock on his face did something to her. He was trying really hard. She didn't understand why – maybe he really was nice. _Just like Angel. Like Gilly. Why not? _

"It's okay." She stared down, to the overgrown gravestones. It had to be a long time ago someone was buried here. It was only a small graveyard; the people lying here probably long forgotten. Outside the small walls surrounding it life went on; there were residential areas and shops. 

"You come here often?" she wondered. 

"Now and then." He was silent for a while. "My parents are fighting a lot," he then admitted. "When I was 14 I ran away from home and spent a few nights here. I don't know. This feels like some refuge. 

Alesia peeked aside. She hadn't expected him to open up like this. Was it really true? Or was he hoping to lure answers from her too? Their eyes met and he kept her glance, as if he wanted to prove her that he was sincere. Nevertheless, curiosity was radiating from his face. She didn't know if it bothered her. She had a curious mind too. If she had been in his shoes, she had been curious to her story too. 

"Ask me one question," she said. "I can't promise you to answer it, but maybe I will. One question," she stressed. 

He nodded, giving it a thought. His glance slid to their laced fingers. In some weird way it felt good. 

What would he ask? How her parents had died? How she got that scar? Those were things she couldn't talk about – not yet, the wounds were too fresh. This was more some silent test to see if he would sense it too. 

"Why do you hate the Mayans so much?"

Gratefully she squeezed his hand; he seemed to sense her boundaries. Furthermore she felt that this was a question coming from his own heart, instead of whisper from the club. 

"My brother was a Mayan," she told him. "Neron. They called him Creeper. They were in the middle of some gang war, he had just patched in..." She sighed deeply. "I'm not sure what things he has seen or done, but nightmares were plaguing him. I often heard him scream at night. He never wanted to talk about it. He started to use drugs, coke. Became an addict." She bit the inside of her cheek. There was a heaviness in her chest and she squeezed her eyes as she thought about his skinny face and hollow eyes. "Instead of helping him, they kicked him out, abandoning him. They are bunch of selfish assholes. Burdening a 21 year old boy with a trauma, then turning their backs on him."

Esai was silent. 

"That's the club you wanna be part of, Esai. Of people who betray their friends and family. I will never give them my trust, they will never crush my dreams. 

* * *

Those were words she should have etched in her heart, which she should have drilled into her head. 

For in the end, she did give them her trust. And indeed – they crushed her dreams. 


	4. Different

Esai couldn't remember there had ever been a girl in whose presence he'd felt uncomfortable, but it took him a lot of effort not to avoid her fiery glance. He knew better than saying something negative about the club, even when she was telling the truth. He however neither wanted to stand up for them; he had no idea what exactly the club was doing. It however was common knowledge that junks lost their patch, and he assumed they had tried to help her brother. But he wasn't sure. His father had taken him to the Santo Padre clubhouse a few times, but apart from his uncle he barely knew the members.

"Where's your brother now?" he asked quietly instead of focusing on the club. "Is he also..."

He trailed off, staring at the hand he was still holding. He liked it, he realized. Very lightly he brushed her skin with his thumb. 

"I don't know," she muttered. "He didn't show up at their funeral. Maybe he's also dead. That same night he fled and left me behind."

Esai couldn't imagine how it would feel to be so worried about a family member. He lacked siblings. Pulling his right hand away from hers, he wrapped an arm around her back and took her hand with his other hand. As she tensed a bit he regretted it, but it didn't take long before she relaxed and even scooted a little closer to him. 

For a long time she was silent and just leaned against him. Then she suddenly said: "It was a cartel. Neron owed them money, and they came for it. And when there was nothing he could hand them..."

He looked aside, hearing how fast her breathing went. "You don't have to tell me," he said quietly. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you're not ready to talk about it."

Without an explanation he could picture very vividly what had happened. They had probably burnt her parents alive or chopped them into pieces. Why her eye was cut out, was no longer a mystery either. Probably to pressure her brother.

"Maybe that's why we keep an eye on you," he said. "You think they'll come after you?"

"You really think they would leave it to you to protect me from a cartel?" she huffed. 

Esai felt his cheeks flush. "I guess not," he admitted. Comparing himself to a member... he had no idea where he got the nerve. He looked aside. 

She was staring forward, deep in thoughts. Without the mutilation she must have been very beautiful... She looked fragile, but not broken. The fire of life was burning fiercely inside her. It took an insane amount of strength to sit here like she did, so soon after the loss of her family. 

"If they'd wanted me dead, I would have been dead," she said. "Letting someone watch the slaughtering of her parents... They believe some things are worse than death."

Her words caused a lump in his throat. "You think you'd be better off death?" he asked quietly. 

He held his breath, realizing he might cross a boundary now. The question had slipped his lips before he knew it, and he had forgotten about the fact they'd just met.

"Making sure this isn't going to control my life feels like vengeance," she answered. "That's what I hold on to."

He believed she was courageous. She was a very special girl, one he really wanted to protect. Also when his father hadn't ordered him to keep an eye on her.

"I don't know if you believe me," he started, hesitating. "But if my dad hadn't ordered me to keep an eye on you, I would have done nothing different."

She gave him a tiny smile when she looked up to him from below her eyelashes. "I believe you."

It was a whisper, but somehow it sounded very seductive and he felt the hairs in his neck rise. He smiled back, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

Damn – he was falling for her. 

So hard. 

* * *

  
"Feel free to say no," he said after a while. "But would you like to still have a talk with my dad? I can imagine you're wondering why you're so important to them. Maybe uhm – maybe they've also news about your brother?"

She hesitated, biting her lip. "I'm not sure I want to hear something about my brother. It's his fault my parents are dead."

_And the club's fault. _

This time she didn't say it out loud, but he could feel her reproach. 

"Fine," she sighed. "I don't believe I have a choice if I want to keep hanging out with you, would-be president."

He lifted the corner of his mouth. "The vacancy for future queen is still open."

"Then you better work on your pick-up tricks." Teasingly, she bumped her shoulder against his, then she slipped off the table. "Let's go. I better get over with it."

Esai smirked, getting off the table too. While he mumbled something about the lack of proper light, he grabbed her hand again to lead her – although there weren't much directions to go to on a stairs. 

She chuckled quietly, making his heart flutter, and he held her hand a little tighter. 

* * *

Although he'd wanted to wrap an arm around her once they entered the clubhouse, he didn't want to claim her in front of everyone. Instead, his hands slipped into his pockets as he puffed out his chest. 

It didn't take long before his eyes found his father, who was sitting on a table in the corner, talking to his VP. He nodded to them, telling Esai he would come to them later. 

"You thirsty?" he asked as he headed for the bar. 

"Yeah, I'm fine with anything."

She hoisted herself on a bar stool. Esai ordered the prospect to give them two glasses soda, then he sat down next to her. She was staring at a few Mayans who were playing pool. Her glance seemed to be glued to the symbols on their backs, and he wondered if she remembered the kutte of her brother. 

"You wanna play a game of pool?" he suggested. 

"If you dare. I'm a pro."

He gladly took the challenge. After emptying their glasses and waiting for the table to be free, he took her there. 

It was a relaxing game. He noticed it took her some time to perceive depth with only one eye, but nevertheless she could handle herself. Spending time around her felt easy, it really felt like they'd done this a thousand times before. 

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts when he had been studying her face while she was concentrating on her next shot. His cheeks flushed as he realized he'd been staring at her and that his father of all people had caught him in doing so. 

"This is Alesia," he told his father. 

Alesia looked up. He saw the fight in her eyes, noticed her tense shoulders while she stared at his father. 

"Hello. My name is Marcus." He held out his hand. 

She glanced at Esai, then she slowly shook his hand. 

There was tension between them. He didn't know if it was a smart move, but he had the feeling he should interrupt. "She told me her brother used to be a Mayan. Creeper." He gave his father a meaningful look, telling him this was a sensitive subject for her.

His father nodded severely. "I have heard so. I am sorry for what happened to your family, Alesia."

She snorted. 

"Ilias Lopez told us you would move to Oakland and asked us to keep an eye on you. On request of his little brother."

"Gilly," Alesia concluded softly. 

There was a warmth gleaming in her eyes, calling up an unexpected jealousy. Was this Gilly her boyfriend? 

At least she seemed to relax a bit. "I'm happy to hear that."

His father laid a hand on her shoulder. "Know that you can always come to us if you are in need of something."

Hesitating, she nodded. "I uh – I think I should go home. Gotta cook for granny."

"Yeah – let me take you there," Esai said.

"Thanks. I'm going to grab my backpack." She nodded to the bags they'd put down next to the bar. Before he could follow her, his father grabbed his upper arm and brought his face close to his. 

"Remember this, _mijo_. She is not going to be your new toy. She is under our protection. Treat her like a sister, she is family now."

He swallowed, feeling his cheeks flame up. "I would never..."

"Do not lie to me, Esai. I see how you look at her. Do what you are asked, and do not make her life harder. We both know how you treat girls."

Esai gritted his teeth. 

This was different. She was different.


	5. You and Me

Prom night... It was every girl's dream. Although Alesia never had high expectations of it, she had fantasized about it now and then. But now her exams were done, Prom was tomorrow and nobody had asked her. 

Of course no one had asked her. 

She knew they called her scar face behind her back, so who would want to hold her arm on a night like that? 

She didn't have a lot of friends anyway. Actually, Esai was the only one. But he became a very close one, she had to admit that. It was just hard to make friends if you were forced to leave two great guys like Angel and Gilly behind, especially when knowing you would have to say goodbye to your new friends by the end of the year anyway. She was often on the phone with Gilly, but Angel had never been the guy who liked to call. However, next week they would come over to Oakland to celebrate their graduation. It made her chest feel a little lighter. 

A pebble hit the window. Although she knew who had thrown it, she walked over to the wall and looked outside. Below her, on the street, Esai waved at her, his typical smirk adorning his handsome face. 

He could have rang the doorbell too. He could even simply walk in. Yet, he always announced his arrival with _this. _Whether he was simply fucking lazy or had copied this move from some movie thinking it was cool, she didn't know. 

She wasn't the least surprised that he had shown up in front of her house; he always stopped by unannounced, taking her for a walk or to hang out at the clubhouse. Close to her grandmother's house was an enormous oak where they use to sit and talk. It was her most favorite place in Oakland, perhaps because it was the only thing that felt like hers. 

"I'm curious as hell to your dress tomorrow," Esai smirked, sitting down in the grass with his back against the tree. He lit a smoke. "Never seen you wear one."

"Well you're neither going to see it tomorrow," she answered, rolling her eyes. 

Frowning, he looked aside. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not going."

"Of course you're going!"

A sad sigh rolled over lips. She wrapped her arms around her knees, leaning with her chin on her knees. "No one asked me and I won't go alone."

"Of course no one asked you, the whole school knows you're going to prom with me."

"It's okay, Esai. I don't need pity."

"Pity?" He turned towards her, laying a hand on her knee. She swallowed – getting used to his touches was simply impossible. It made her feel hot all over. For months she was ignoring the effect he had on her mind and body, but the feelings always came back. Hard. "I didn't even think about asking someone else," he said. His eyes met hers, then he suddenly looked away, his cheeks slightly turning red. "I thought it was obvious that we were going together."

Alesia didn't know how to respond. To her, it had been anything but obvious. Esai could get whatever chick he wanted, girls were always giggling and blushing when he walked past them. 

"So you better hurry up and get yourself a pretty dress huh," he said, bumping her knee and giving her a cocky grin. His confidence was back. 

She smiled softly, glad she wasn't the type of girl that would stress over a piece of clothe. 

* * *

It was a dark green vintage cocktail dress that she was wearing the next night. Because she wanted to feel pretty for one night, she wore a black and golden Venetian eye mask, made of polyester and lace. Of course everyone knew what scar was underneath it and maybe this would only stress her mutilation, but she wanted to pretend that what had happened almost a year ago wasn't affecting her. Not this night. 

Her heart started to flutter when the doorbell rang. It was stupid, she knew that all too well. They were just friends, this wasn't any different from all the other times they used to hang out. Yet, it felt different. She had wanted to look more beautiful than ever, just so he wouldn't have to be ashamed of her, and hell; he even rang the doorbell. As if he was really taking her to a date. 

She peeked into the living room and saw that her grandma was already asleep in the chair. Deciding not to wake her up, Alesia picked up her purse and headed to the front door. Once she opened it, she stared in awe at Esai. He was wearing a white button up shirt and a grey waistcoat above a dark jeans. He wore no tie, but it was more fanciful than whatever she had ever seen him wear. And it looked good on him – damn good. 

"You look hot," she blurted out. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. She had never felt awkward around him before and dreaded the rest of the evening if she was going to behave as stupid as she was doing now. 

He smirked, laid an arm around her waist and leaned into her. "You look cute when your cheeks flush," he whispered, his breath hot on her skin. 

She shivered. 

He kissed her cheek before pulling away from her, giving her a once over. He whistled. "Damn girl. I'm glad you never wore this to school, it would have been torture not to touch you."

Alesia frowned. "Okay now things are getting weird."

He chuckled, holding out his arm. "I better stop talking then."

She climbed on the back of his Harley and wrapped her arms around him tightly. It was only a small distance to the building and she caught herself wishing it had taken a little longer. Once the engine was off, she slid off the bike. Esai gave her a breathtaking smile, then their fingers laced as they walked to the entrance. Before they reached the door, Esai pulled her away from the gathering crowd, laying his large hands on her hips while studying her face in silence. She shifted uncomfortably with her feet, not knowing what the meaning of this was. He lifted his hand, traced the underside of her mask with his thumb. 

"You don't have to wear this," he said in a soft voice. 

She tried to look away, but he took her chin between his index finger en thumb and forced her to look at him. "You're beautiful, Alesia. And that scar... It's part of who you are. A fighter." 

She held her breath when he took the mask between his fingers and pulled it upward. His eyes rested in hers, the kind look in them making her knees feel weak. His thumb traced the scar across her eye. She flinched, squeezing her eye, his touch calling up all kinds of conflicting feelings.

His breathing faltered, then he covered her eyes with the mask again. "Do whatever makes you feel comfortable," he said. "But just now you're beautiful. With and without a mask."

"Thanks," she said softly. "You're a great friend, Esai. I honestly didn't think I would find a real friend after leaving my old friends behind."

He gave her a smile, although she thought to see a hint of disappointment in his eyes. Before she was sure of it, he grabbed her hand and took her to the party area. 

Alesia had expected him to stay with her for a couple of songs and then drag her to his friends, but he treated her like a princess, getting her drinks and snacks and not showing the slightest interest in other girls. When a slow song started, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. 

Alesia's heart leaped in her throat while she closed his arms around his neck. Never before she had danced like this with a boy. Feeling him so close to her made her stomach do flip flops and she leaned against him, refusing to look up. His thumbs brushed her lower back, making her wonder how his fingers would feel underneath her dress. The images made her bite her lip. 

Slowly he turned her around, swaying her to the music, her head leaning against his shoulder. For a biker kid he knew damn well how to dance... He dipped his head, his lips seemed to touch her hair. 

"Why are you hiding your face?" he whispered. 

Skittishly she looked up. A blush spread across her cheeks, and the sight of it made him smirk. 

"You know damn well why," she muttered.

His hand left her back and cupped her jaw. He bent his head until his forehead was resting against hers. "Are you afraid I will kiss you?"

The look in his blue eyes was intense, making her limbs tremble. Her head was a mess. "Why would you kiss me," she whispered back. 

"Because I'm in love with you. Because I can't stop thinking about you since the day we met."

Her hands felt clammy. She knew him well enough to read his expressions and he wasn't lying, nor was he casually flirting. Nervousness swirled through her body, yet the desire to be his was stronger than any other feeling. Her hands slipped away from his shoulders, folding around the sides of her neck. Softly, she pressed her lips against his. 

They were warm and soft, and her lips lingered against them for a few seconds before she looked up again. Their was a hint of red on his cheeks too, making her feel dizzy. Could it really be...? This felt like the ultimate teenage girl dream; being kissed by your prince at prom. And yet, it happened. 

Esai buried his hand in her hair, his fingertips tickling her scalp. Their lips met again. She opened her mouth, inviting his tongue inside. The music faded, they seemed all alone in their little world where they were exploring each other's mouth, every stroke sending shivers through their whole bodies. 

After a long kiss, he captured her in his strong arms, pulling her close. "I'm going to prospect next week," he told her, looking into her eyes. "Be my old lady, Alesia. Be mine and make me the happiest man in the universe."

She smiled up to him, kissing his lips. "I would love to be yours." 

They lost themselves in another intimate kiss and gently, Esai led her to the side of the room where it was a little quieter. He took her hands, giving her a happy smile. 

She smiled back, feeling like she was somewhere high up in the clouds. 

"So uhm... Why now?" she wondered. "Waiting almost a year to make a move isn't exactly your style."

He gave her a smirk. "My dad is awfully protective of you. He warned me you weren't gonna be my new toy and I have moved heaven and earth to prove him I'm serious about you."

"How?" she answered in a light chuckle. 

"By not touching any girl since I met you. That's how much I want you, Alesia." He stroked her cheek. "It's strange tho, having to receive the blessing of your own father."

"But he gave it now?"

"Yeah." He leaned into her to kiss her again. "You and me baby. That's all I want for the future."


	6. Reunion

A week had passed since prom. More than half a year ago, Alesia had believed her heart was ripped out. She never thought she would smile again, but the past days there had been a warm feeling in her chest. Despite her scar, and despite the tragedy that had struck her, she had an amazing boyfriend now. When Esai and she had been just friends, his parents had already been very friendly, but now they had given her a warm welcome in their family.

Even though she had been skeptical about the Mayans in the beginning, she'd had a long conversation with Marcus, who'd explained to her that they'd wanted to help her brother and that they had signed him into rehab, but that it had been his own choice when he decided to walk away. Marcus felt sorry for what had happened to her and he admitted that Neron's guidance might have been inadequate,and in the end Alesia had forgiven the club.

Today, a graduation party was thrown for Esai and her. She was sitting at the bar, her eyes glued to the entrance, knowing who were about to show up.

When the two boys finally entered the room, she jumped on her feet and ran towards them. First, she launched herself at Gilly, who squeezed her in such a tight hug it made her gasp for breath. After letting him go she turned to Angel, who looked a foot taller.

"Hey girl." He kissed her forehead. "Congratulations."

Alesia looked at him with mixed feelings. "I'm sorry you failed your exams."

He shrugged his shoulders, showing her a grin that convinced her that he could think of less pleasant things. "I don't need to graduate. The Mayans will let me prospect. So fucking awesome! Gilly's brother put in a word for me."

Alesia looked at him in surprise. "Wow!" She had known becoming a Mayan had been a dream of him, even though he had never said much about it because of her brother.

"I wasn't sure what you'd think of it, but I guess you made peace with the Mayans now." He showed her a grin. "Since you're dating El Padrino's son. Speaking of... Where the hell is he?" Curiously, Angel looked past her.

Alesia looked over her shoulder, shrugging as she didn't see her boyfriend. "Probably bothering the ladies of the catering."

"Yeah? He's one of those guys?" Angel asked, shaking his head. "Then it's time he and I have a good talk."

She smirked. "Yeah, you're gonna give him some advice on how to cheat properly? You know all about being a player. But don't worry. Up to now, he has nothing to complain about."

"Too much information."

She raised her eyebrows. "After all the dirty stories you told me?"

Her glance wandered aside. Gilly had never been the one to talk a lot, but he was really quiet today. He was staring at the ground. She wrapped an arm around him, leaning into him. "Hey, you okay?"

Quickly he looked up, offering a smile. "I'm fine. Just some crazy days."

Alesia sensed there was more going on, but before she could pry further, Angel swung an arm around his friend as well. "What Gills needs is some beer and pussy."

She chuckled at the red tinge spreading across his cheeks

The three of them walked over to the bar, where the boys shook some hands and one of the girls poured them a drink. She had just taken her glass when two arms glided around her, and a kiss was pressed to her shoulder. She looked over her shoulder, for a moment she was caught in his mysterious blue eyes. Leaning into his embrace, she kissed him.

"Hey, get a room!" Angel yakked in her ear.

"As if you ever get a room."

Angel smirked, holding out his hand to Esai. "So you're the lucky man. Let me tell you this, _hermano_. I don't care that you're El Padrino's kid; if you ever cheat on her he's gonna bury ya real soon."

Angel's grin made it look like he was just teasing him, but the look in his eyes told a different story.

"Pops threatened to do the same," Esai answered. "So don't worry, brother. This lady over here gets everything her heart desires."

Alesia turned in his arms, pecking his lips. "Slimeball," she whispered against his lips.

By way of an answer, his hand glided to her neck as he gave her a long kiss that she could feel in her toes.

"Angel just told me he's going to prospect too," she told him. "So he's really going to be your brother."

"Yeah? That's cool dude." Esai slapped his shoulder. "What about you?" he asked Gilly. "Your brother is a Mayan, right?"

"I signed up to be trained as a technical designer**. **Maybe I will join the club later, my parents encouraged me to go to college first and that I can always join the Mayans later."

His eyes shot from Alesia to the door. She frowned slightly. He was clearly nervous and she had no idea why. Was the sight of Esai and her together bothering him? She couldn't imagine he had feelings for her, she never noticed anything.

The moment Angel and Esai started to talk about their expectations about being a prospect, she stepped closer to Gilly.

"You look distracted, Gills."

He sighed, avoiding her glance.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked quietly.

This time, he did look up. "No. Not you." His eyes shot back to the door. "I tried to stop him, Alesia. I really did. But Angel..." He sighed once more.

Confused, Alesia looked to the side. This time, someone was standing in the doorway.

She froze, her stomach cringed. It was someone she didn't want to see yet.

Or ever again.

Her brother.


	7. Tears

At first, Alesia could only stare. The air in the room felt thick, as if hundreds of people were smoking cigarettes. A sudden heat hassled her, making her feel dizzy. Black spots danced before her eyes, gaining more and more ground. 

_"Did you really think you would get away with this?"_

_The ropes burnt around Alesia's wrists, her hands had been tied behind her back. Her parents were sitting to her left, her brother on the other side of the room. A woman with terrifying green eyes was pushing a gun inside his mouth. _

_A sob escaped her lips. Never before she had been so afraid. She couldn't think anymore. Voices were speaking, but she lacked the willpower to listen to them. Instead, she squeezed her eyes and started to mutter prayers. _

_Someone yanked back her head, tugging at her hair. She had no idea if she was screaming. There however was a deep voice wrestling itself through her sedated brain. _

_"I am the only god who's powerful enough to help you. You should beg me for mercy, whore."_

_And so, Alesia did. With quivering lips she started pleading for her life, promising things she didn't even hear herself. _

_Laughter was all she got in return. _

_A horrible pain spread through her face; the skin close to her eye was cut. By reflex she tried to turn her head away, which only worsened the pain. Painfully slow, the blade cut through her flesh, through muscle, through her eye. Around her, a storm of crying and screaming arose, but the knife continued on its path of destruction . _

"Baby?"

A worried voice pulled her out of the gruesome memory. Only now, she realized how wet her cheeks were. Esai turned her around. She couldn't even see his face through the blur of tears, but she pressed herself against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. 

"What's goin' on? Who's that guy?"

She sobbed. "I – I don't want to see him."

Why had Angel not listened to Gilly? What the hell had gotten into him, that he was ruining this day for her? She clung to her boyfriend. The images the memory had called up, were circling around her head. Her legs were shaking, her whole body felt heavy as lead. She could collapse any moment. 

"I – I need to get outta here. Please," she whispered. 

He probably sensed that she was close to fainting, for he lifted her up and carried her to the rooms on the other side of the clubhouse. She buried her face against his shoulder. She felt humiliated because she couldn't even walk anymore. 

She shivered when Esai lowered her on a bed, laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Is he your brother?" he asked quietly. 

Sniffling, she nodded. 

"You don't have to face him. You don't have to see him if you don't want to, sweetheart."

She squeezed her eye and sobbed quietly. Suddenly she missed her parents so terribly it felt like someone was slamming knifes into her body. Her stomach and chest cramped and she tried to curl up into a ball, which was hard since Esai was lying beside her. She felt ice cold – she couldn't even feel Esai's warmth. Panic flared up. She already lost half of her sight – were her other senses failing too now? Was she still in the clutches of the evil that had torn her family apart? Her upper body started to jolt again, she begun to cry harder. For months, not a single tear had slipped her eyes. Now she couldn't stop them.

* * *

Creeper blinked away the tears when he saw his little sister panic. It felt like he had swallowed a stone. He never should have come to this place. It had been selfish. For months he was fighting a depression – and most times he lost. While she had friends who supported her, and even a boyfriend and his family, he had no one. He lived on the streets and was disgusted with himself whenever he found a syringe of heroin in a weak moment. With what felt like an inhumane effort, he had stayed clean for three weeks now; seeing his sister again had been his motivation. He had lost his parents, his club, his friends. And apparently, also his little sister. What was there still to live for? He had asked himself that question many times. More than once he'd wished he'd died too that day – where after he had been even more disgusted with himself. He was a coward. He wanted to become a better person, but he didn't know how. Somehow he hoped she'd missed him too, that they could bear their pain together. He should have known the outcome. She blamed him for the dead of their parents and Creeper didn't have the heart to tell her their parents had brought it on themselves. He wanted her to remember them with love, if not, he was afraid not much would remain of the old Alesia.

"You shouldn't have come here." Gilly looked up to him. 

Creeper heaved a sigh. He didn't know what to answer – after all, the boy was right. "I just wanted to know how she was," he said defeated. 

The boy shook his head. "You could have asked us."

Creeper bit the inside of his cheek. Admitting that he was the one needing his little sister was anything but easy. 

"Leave him, Gil." Angel showed up next to his friend. "They only have each other. Someday, Alesia will realize that too."

"She has us," the boy answered firmly. "She doesn't need him."

Without adding another word, he turned around and rushed to the bar.

With a sad look on his face, Creeper watched him leave. Still so protective. For a long time, Creeper suspected Gilly to have feelings for his little sister, and he wondered how the boy would feel now Alesia had apparently hooked up with the Mayan prince. He couldn't blame him for his current mood. 

Angel walked past him, nodding towards the exit. Creeper turned around, took a smoke from the younger man and sat down on a wall. 

"I will talk to her," Angel said. "She just needs some time to handle the shock."

Creeper inhaled deeply, shaking his head. "No," he said softly. "She's happier without me."

"She needs her family. What's left of it."

"She has you. Gilly. The whole Mayan family."

"It's not the same," Angel answered stubbornly. 

"Give her my number," Creeper told him. "If she feels up to it one day, she can always call me."

Angel huffed. "We both know she ain't gonna do that."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's my only hope."

For he wouldn't force himself into her life again. 


	8. Confidence

_Six years later_

Tears shone in her left eye. A beautiful smile adorned her face while she took his hands and kissed his lips. "It's really true, Esai. We're having a baby!"

Esai pulled her in a loving embrace. Unbelievable. He was going to be a father. 

For over two years they had been trying to have a baby. Since Alesia was diagnosed with a hormonal deviation, it had been harder than they'd expected. There had been a chance they would never be blessed with a child — imagine how much joy they felt.

He buried his nose in her hair while holding her close. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much. And our little one too." Going down on his knees, he laid his hands against her stomach. "You hear that, _pequeño? _Daddy already loves you so much."

Alesia smiled. Never before she had been as beautiful as she was now. 

His girl. His fiance. The mother of his child. 

He got up to kiss her. Gently he led her to the bed, his lips caressing her neck while he skillfully removed her clothes. Her hands shoved his kutte over his schouders, took off his shirt and started to unbuckle his belt. 

Only a few moments later, he was lying on top of her, kissing every inch of her delicious skin. A few more months, then he would marry her. Then she would be formally his. Her fingers glided through his hair, her sighs making his heart beat faster. 

When he met her eight years ago, someone had taken her life from her. Now, he would give her back a life, and he would protect his family, at all costs. He would make sure nothing bad would ever have happen to his beloveds. 

His lips moved to hers, his tongue sliding between them. They kissed and stroked each other until they couldn't bear the distance any longer. 

"You and me, _mi amor,_" he whispered as they became one. "You and me and that little one. _Por siempre._"

* * *

It felt like he was in a daze because of the news he'd received two days ago. He was going to be a father. They hadn't told anyone, first they wanted to enjoy their secret a little longer. There would be plenty of time for nosy mothers and overprotecting fathers. 

Yet, he found it hard to keep the truth to himself. Excitement was rushing through his veins and being alone with his father didn't happen often. Not that they would be able to have a conversation right now; they were both riding their Harleys, on their way to a meeting with Ernest Darby. He was the leader of a white supremacist street gang — the Nords — who lived close to Charming. 

Esai couldn't think of a reason why the man wanted to meet up with his father. After all, they were of Mexican descent, so they were scoring high on the nazi score bord. But perhaps lower than the Niners — the brown MC — and although the Sons of Anarchy consisted of mainly white people, Esai knew they couldn't stand each other either. 

Apparently, the Nazi had to do business with _someone. _

They parked their bikes on a remote farmyard. Esai looked at the balding man who was sitting at a picknick table. He got a suspicious look in return. Esai's jaw clenched, but he didn't respond when his father gave him an inquiring look. 

"Wait here."

Esai nodded. Shoving his hands in his pockets he watched his father sit down across from the Nord. He wasn't able to hear them, but even from here he could feel the tension between them. In the end, Darby walked away. His father however called him back, where after they seemed to have an agreement. 

Esai looked suspiciously at the man as he walked away, throwing an empty beer can at Esai's feet as he passed him. Esai squinted his eyes and watched him leave, then he turned to his father. "What did he want?"

"Gotta put down a couple of dogs making my life miserable."

So Darby had told him to get rid of someone. "Let me and my boys do it."

It was about time he was going to prove himself. He wanted to be entitled to vicepresident. Sometimes he still had the feeling his father was doubting his qualities and he wanted to change that. He was trustworthy. One could count on him. He belonged to a motorclub, he was supposed to become his father's right hand. 

"You think you can handle that weight?"

Esai gritted his teeth; clearly he still doubted him. He was not a child anymore. He could follow orders. He could lead some guys and be of value to the club. "Just tell me who."

"SAMCRO boss." Over his shoulder, his father looked at Darby, pulling a face. "And that greedy cracker shithead."

Clay Morrow — SAMCRO's president. And Darby, leader of the Nords. 

Two big names — a chance he wouldn't want to miss. 

"I'll take care of it," he told his father confidently. "I won't fuck it up."

But he did. 


	9. Betrayal

He'd fucked up. A lot. 

With a group of four they'd gone out. Two were supposed to kill Clay; Dezi and Esai himself had gone to Darby's house. After Dezi had entered the place while shooting, they'd stumbled upon three dead bodies. Two whores and an unknown man. Darby himself was nowhere to be found. 

To make things even worse, the others had failed too; they had only managed to shoot some Irish man in the ass. He didn't know what to feel; shame or anger. He had been convinced he and his guys could do this, but now he started to realize that he had overstated his pals. Or maybe he had overstated himself, for he had been the responsible one. He'd _wanted_ to be the responsible one. 

Now, there had been an attempt on the life of SAMCRO's president and they were at the beginning of a gang war. Instead of quietly taking out their rivals, every Son's charter would soon march towards Oakland to wipe them off the map. With one call he'd told his father that the mission had failed. His father hadn't said much. Which he understood; his disappointment had to be enormous. Once again, there was no reason to be proud of his son. 

A few hours later his father called him back, telling him to come to the park by the end of the day. He told him he wasn't mad, he even asked if Alesia would come too. It made him feel more secure, and he sent his girlfriend a text to ask if she could come to the park after work. The weather was good; they'd hung out there before. 

Nevertheless there was a pit in his stomach as he entered the park and met his father. He hated to disappoint him. The harder he tried to prove himself, the harder he failed, it seemed. 

His father hugged him briefly. "Hey, relax, huh? Shit happens, man."

"Yeah, I know," he muttered, looking his father in the eye. "I'm sorry, Pop."

"Because of your mistake, I had to sit down with SAMCRO. Made a deal with him, man. He's gonna start selling us guns."

Esai stared at his father in disbelief. He hadn't seen _that_ coming... "That's good man."

His father took a moment to look around. "That happened because of you, okay? It's okay, man. Let's go get a churro." He wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Catch you up on what we gotta do."

They walked over to the food stall. Before they could order something, Marcus turned his son towards him. "Hey." A little stunned, Esai let his father hug him. "I love you, _mijo_."

These words moved him, especially after what he had done. He wanted to tell him he loved him too, but suddenly there was a gruesome pain between his shoulder blades. By relax he wanted to touch for whatever was sticking out of his back, but his arm felt powerless all of a sudden. Breathing became harder, the pain spread. 

His knees collapsed. Vaguely, he realized his father was catching him, but before he could _really_ feel his arms, he lost conscience. 

* * *

A horrible scream filled the air. Alesia needed a few seconds to realize that _she_ was the one screaming. Her body responded before her mind understood what was going on. 

Esai — Esai was stabbed by the churro man!

She started to run, the panic traveled to every corner of her body. And Marcus... Marcus just stood there! She came to a stand when the man lowered his son on the ground and handed something to the attacker. 

What was going on? Why didn't Marcus avenge his son? Were they in this together? Had Marcus really... allowed someone to kill his son? Bile crept into her gullet, she grasped her knees and bent over. Puke left her mouth in waves. 

She wiped her mouth, and her eyes when she noticed she had started to cry. This was all so... unbelievable. She just couldn't wrap her head around what was happening. Through a blur of tears she watched the three men. Her whole being screamed to run to Esai and to hold his body. Maybe he wasn't even dead — maybe he was just badly injured! But at the same time she was terrified that Marcus would consider her as a threat. He had looked her in the eye while she was heading over to them, he _knew_ she had seen this! Would he want to silence her too? If he could kill his son without a shred of remorse, why would he give a damn about her? Protectively, she wrapped her arms around her stomach, thinking about the little child that was growing inside her. 

If Esai was really dead, their baby was all that was left of him. 

It felt wrong to leave her boyfriend like this, but the urge to protect their baby made her turn around and run. She ran through the park, dove into various alleys and kept running until her legs could no longer carry her. Crying, she sank down on the ground. 

Esai was dead. 

She had left him to die. 


	10. Breaking Hearts

Marcus lifted his son from the ground and carried him to the van which was equipped with ambulance equipment. He had chosen a quiet corner of the park close to an abandoned parking lot once you walked through the bushes. He looked down at Esai's pale face. Blood dripped down Marcus' forearm, but he was convinced the boy would make it. 

The doors of the van already opened once he stepped from between the trees. Marcus handed his son to two paramedics whose help he had bought before. 

The stash of medicines that Happy's mother needed to stay alive, which were scarce and expensive, were the only reason the Son had agreed with his plan. Marcus thought this would start to gnaw at him after some time, but he had made his choice. They both had. Happy kept his mother alive for a few more years, and Marcus prevented his son from dying at 24. 

It had been a club decision. Everyone except Esai knew about it. A decision that had been hard to make, but which was better than killing him. He however wouldn't get a funeral; the outside world would believe that he was a traitor whose body was shoved into an oven. 

With a heavy heart he thought of his wife. He wished he could have involved her in this plan, but he lacked faith in her acting skills. If she failed to _really_ mourn the death of her son, the Sons might start to think that Esai is still alive. The debt caused by the failed murder attempt on Clay Morrow wouldn't be settled, which would cause a gang war _and_ the end of their gun trade. 

And so, his boy had to leave the country. He would get a second chance there. But without his girlfriend, without the club. He felt sorry for his daughter-in-law, but he knew people would get suspicious if she disappeared as well, or when she wasn't convincing enough during her grieving period. 

One day, she would fall in love again, as would Esai. 

If he survived. It might not have been a fatal wound, but the doctors were still treating him and neither of them had convinced him that his son would be fine. 

* * *

"He will survive."

Marcus had returned to the park to sit and wait on a bench. One of the paramedics sat down next to him. He'd wanted to give them some room; four people inside that small van had been too much. 

Marcus nodded. He knew what it meant. It was time to say goodbye. In silence he followed the other. 

"Is he responsive?"

"He's conscious."

Marcus knew it would be hard to look into Esai's eyes. Starting all over in a strange country... It was going to be difficult. But at least he would be alive. And his son was strong — he would survive. 

Opening the car doors, he climbed into the van. Esai was lying on a stretcher, looking at him with confused eyes. 

"I'm sorry, mijo," Marcus said, kneeling down next to the boy. "This is the only way to reconcile with the Sons. Because of your failed attempt to kill both Clay and Darby, you left me no choice. Everyone will believe you're dead."

"W-what?" he whimpered. 

"These men will take you to Mexico, to an acquaintance of one of them. They owed me a favor. You can't come back. Ever."

The dazed look in his eyes broke his heart and he took a deep breath. He couldn't let the emotions take over now. This was the way it had to be. This was the only way. 

"A-Alesia?" he mumbled. 

"She will believe that you're dead."

"But — but my kid..."

Kid? 

Marcus stared at his son. "She's pregnant?"

Esai closed his eyes. Once he opened them again, a tear slipped down his cheek. "Yeah," he said in a hoarse voice. 

Marcus cursed himself. He'd never counted on _that. _"I make sure they will be fine."

Whether he would really succeed in doing so, he wasn't sure. She had seen him — as had been his intention. He needed a reliable witness. She would never trust him again, and telling her the truth was too risky. There was too much at stake. 

"For how long?" his son murmured. 

"Forever, Esai. You will have to build a new life. I know you can do it. You are my son."

Esai said nothing. Just stared at him, eyes wide in disbelief. 

Marcus could no longer bear his gaze. This was the only solution. 

"Once she knows the truth, she will be in danger. The Sons will believe she knew about the conspiracy. You can never contact her, Esai. Never. You will endanger the life of everyone you contact."

Esai was still silent, seemed to be in shock. 

"Why didn't you kill me?" he whispered eventually. 

His words felt like the stab of a knife. "Because you're stronger than you think," he answered. "And because you deserve a second chance."

Leaning forward, he laid a kiss on the boy's forehead. 

Then, he left, closing the door behind him. 

Going home to break another heart.


	11. Author's Note

Dear readers,

Since I have twenty (!) unfinished stories which I still try to update, I have decided to focus on two stories at the same time and finish them one by one – which means multiple chapters a week. I've decided to let my readers decide what stories I'm going to finish first, so please leave a comment on this chapter if you want me to work on this one. I will finish all my stories, but it might take a long while before I return to the ones there aren't much people interested in. 

For the amazing readers who read multiple of my works, sorry for the spam!

(I know many readers aren’t comfortable with commenting, so leaving a (-) or something does the job too. ;D)


End file.
